A taste of NVC

I recently ran a shorter ‘taster’ event in Guildford, to introduce people to some key aspects of NVC. We had a fun time role playing dysfunctional scenarios and conversations – and then experiencing how they would have been different with some insight into NVC. Click here for a summary of the evening.

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New way to learn NVC

I have great plans for offering online learning programmes in addition to or as an alternative to one or two-day workshops. What has held me back has been the lack of an accessible, easy to use and affordable ‘learning management system’. Yes, I know there’s Moodle, Lexim, Blackboard and a host of other options, but [...]

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The power of an apology

A group of Christians assembled along the route of a Gay Pride March. They were wearing T shirts saying ‘I’m sorry’ and were there to apologise for the homophobic attitudes of the Church. The two pictures speak volumes about the effect of their apology

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Why the urge to be right can get us into trouble

“From the place where we are right, flowers will never grow in the spring. The place where we are right is hard and trampled, like a yard “ Written by the Israeli poet, Yehuda Amichai. Comment from Giles Fraser, former Canon Chancellor of St Paul’s Cathedral: ‘This is the place where a passionate, sometimes religious, [...]

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Let your light shine brightly

You probably remember Nelson Mandela’s famous speech in which he quoted Marianne Williamson: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves ‘Who am I to be briilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?’ http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/17297.Marianne_Williamson I was reminded [...]

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What do you mean when you say ‘sorry?

Fireman Edric Kennedy-Macfoy just wanted the police to say ‘sorry‘. Off- duty, dressed in a pin-striped suit and driving an Audi, he stopped to help the police who were being attacked with bricks and bottles after shutting down a party. The police assumed he was one of the partygoers – who like Kennedy-Macfoy, were black. [...]

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How to change your mind without upsetting people

Last week, I spent a fascinating hour helping a friend explore her vision of how she wanted to be in her world. It was a rich conversation for both of us and we agreed to a date for another session. Today my friend emailed to me this message (and she’s agreed to my sharing it).

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What stops us being empathic?

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Have you seen the film 50/50? It’s loosely based on the real-life experience of its script-writer, Will Reiser, who had a rare form of spinal cancer that didn’t respond to chemotherapy and was eventually excised through surgery. The Guardian newspaper critic was dismissive: ‘Charmless, shallow, smug and unlikeable. A ‘bromance’ weepie about cancer’ he said. ‘One [...]

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Be careful how you ask for what you want

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Oops! What a bloomer! But I can imagine how it happened! And there’s a useful lesson here in how to ask for what you want. The person painting the warnings would most probably say that he was following instructions to the letter. (Well… almost. I don’t know how Arbic slipped in.) The same might be said [...]

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Do hackers have hearts?

If my computer was hacked, what would I do? Get angry? Yes! Despair that anyone would choose to inflict such damage? Yes! Curse? Yes, in no uncertain terms! But engage in a dialogue with the hacker? Surely not. Who would take up that challenge? And what would happen if they did? Here are two examples [...]

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