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What stops us being empathic?

Have you seen the film 50/50? It’s loosely based on the real-life experience of its script-writer, Will Reiser, who had a rare form of spinal cancer that didn’t respond to chemotherapy and was eventually excised through surgery. The Guardian newspaper critic was dismissive: ‘Charmless, shallow, smug and unlikeable. A ‘bromance’ weepie about cancer’ he said. ‘One [...]

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Be careful how you ask for what you want

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Oops! What a bloomer! But I can imagine how it happened! And there’s a useful lesson here in how to ask for what you want. The person painting the warnings would most probably say that he was following instructions to the letter. (Well… almost. I don’t know how Arbic slipped in.) The same might be said [...]

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Do hackers have hearts?

If my computer was hacked, what would I do? Get angry? Yes! Despair that anyone would choose to inflict such damage? Yes! Curse? Yes, in no uncertain terms! But engage in a dialogue with the hacker? Surely not. Who would take up that challenge? And what would happen if they did? Here are two examples [...]

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If you lost an arm and an eye, would you feel bitter towards your attacker?

It was a sunny day. I was in a sunny mood. Ahead lay a country walk with a sociable pack of dogs and their owners. The voices on the car radio were background noise – until something caught my attention. ‘I couldn’t hate. I wanted to but I couldn’t.’ The speaker was Albie Sachs, the [...]

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What we attend to will grow

A little boy snuggled into the safety of his grandfather’s arms and waited. The old man looked fondly at his grandson. Then he began to speak, choosing his words with care. “Sometimes it’s as though I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, angry and violent. The other wolf is

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What do you say to someone who’s just suffered a bereavement?

I was moved by this quote in the Guardian newspaper (6th September 2011) from a young man whose father died in the 9/11 tragedy.

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What does it mean to ‘speak your truth’?

‘Speak your truth’ our presenter said. ‘Let it come from the heart, without filtering.’ Fifteen of us – coaches of every persuasion – listened and reflected. ‘I’m not entirely happy with that’ I said. ‘There are things I would want to filter.’ And a domestic analogy popped into my mind. It was like sieving stewed [...]

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